Thirtysomething dating site def of elucidating

If you're looking for marriage or biological babies, says Steinberg, your job is to recognize these zero-potential guys early and often.

"Don't spend years, or even months, with guys who are clearly commitment-phobic, wish-washy or emotionally unavailable," says Steinberg.

"It takes time to discover your feelings, for him to discover his, to build an emotional bond, and to see he's consistently trustworthy, reliable, kind, emotionally available and sensitive to your needs." If a guy obviously isn't? Think about what didn't work in terms of fostering personal and relationship growth. Get specific about the choices you made and what might need to change.

Specifically, the key is in establishing smart boundaries.

The less time you spend with a dead-end dude, the more room you'll have to pace the relationship with a guy who seems like a potential winner.

"As professional opportunities start to arise, you'll have to make decisions.That means your best bet is to maximize the most highly-datable options in the least amount of time, says Steinberg.The best way to do this is to approach this part of your life with as much intention and effort as you would, say, your friendships or career.Sure, you could theoretically meet your future life partner anywhere.But you've probably been there and done that with the bar and going-out scene, and might not have many opportunities in your current job—where you spend the majority of your waking hours.

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